this is a common question asked by foster/adopted children who havent been told how would u go about answering it

Please tell us Domestic it will be a wonderful useful learning tool. My heart IS breaking even tho I feel you have the loving/guiding words of wisdom & experience for all of us :-)

to be honest i cant help in this situation the parents stay negative to the conception of tellin the child as they feel it will do more harm.

i float ideas as i come across them in the hope that if all else fails they can read the posts relatin to them and take comfort they are not alone.

sneaky i no but hey

loving thoughts and positive vibes

My 67yr.old friend is wearing very thin tryin to help guide her 19yr.old grandson whos stealing them blind because his mother will not take control of the situation any further (tough love she calls it & I agree to a point w/that) so of course hes in & out of jail for various incidents, never graduated, & now of course has an 8mos. child that he does not raise, & I have tried to explain to her about how our history, the way we are raised, genepool, being abandoned by fathers etc how this will continue for her great grandson, it happens time & time again, now hes in court ordered rehab (good luck w/that one but I dont say that to her) one has to want it huh, am sick of people not getting the impact of their actions on another human being until years have gone by thats why we're on these sites, anyway in saying that BOY did we get slapped on that other post, will take more care huh, you are fun & I enjoy you, you have a way of saying things that maybe some cant understand/see the humor, love & wisdom that we all need, Take care, April

oh u mean the poor man who used us to continue his own behaviour im sure his wife gave him hell and used more nasty words then we did,
if he was genuine he will return and continue chattin or he will tell himself hes vindicated to continue his ways
i can see it now "i tried and they were all mean"

i no what u mean about being screw ups of our past or held to randsome by the future, its sad when some continue to iflict pain on others because htey want to

i think u are capable of having a little tongue in cheek to lady :D

and as to that im learnin some buzz words so watchout in future well that is when i learn to type and spell at the same time

loving thoughts and positive vibes

I think you should talk to the police.

why don't you just ask them? Let them know that you found the certificate. You say the are very loving then I think they will be understanding and help you with your confusion. If they get mad well maybe there is a problem somewhere.....

to all those who have responded to this post

many thanks with all the help u have provided the young man in question who is adopted has been able to put together a booklet for others who find themselves in his situation.

it was good for him to find out that people didnt laugh at him or just think oh you are a kid and push his feelings aside

on once more thank u all very much

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes

omg! i will pray that u find the guidance and answers that you need. you are in a hard place right now. i think you should sit down and ask them about this.

I realize I am about a year late on this post but was reading through your posts and got curious.... I can not imagine this confusion but why do parents not think their children can handle the truth??? I recently found my husbands younger brother on facebook. He is 14 according to my husbands father he knew about my husband; knew he had older siblings... so I contacted him I would love for my husband to get to know as many of his siblings as he can... (his dad left him many scattered all over) I contacted him, turns out.... my husbands father denied that he has any other children said "Pablo is my brother not my son". OMG so I ended up being the one that broke the news to this child that his father was a lecher and has at least 4 other kids by two different women. Had I known I would not have contacted him... My poor husband has had a liar for a father for his whole life what a disappointment. I believe honesty with a child when they are old enough to understand is the best. At 14 you can understand quite a bit.... Just my personal opinion

mommy of 2

i think u are right honey but its the lies and the misery that is left in the wake of any thing that is the problem its hard sometimes to be reasonable when its your child and the can of worms might take him away from u or others perceptions are not on the same wave length as u

even u in hindsight did what u thought was the best but now the deed is done have second thoughts on it but we live and learn and life evolves

take care

love D