I recently had made mention on facebook that I and my family are on food stamps. The next day, my father-in-law scolded me (through my fiance), saying that food stamps is not a badge of honor, and that it presents a bad image.

I was appalled. I felt that I was being told I should not be myself, that I should present a false image of myself to my friends and family, that I should be ashamed for needing help. Everybody on my facebook page already knows that we are unemployed and had to move in with my parents. Honestly, how can it look any worse that we are on food stamps? If anything, I would think that would make us look better, because at least we had the brains to get what help we could. Not only that, but most people on my friends list already knew that we were on food stamps, so I did not feel that I was disclosing any new information. It really just seemed ridiculous to me that my father-in-law took issue with that. He is a pastor. Aren't they supposed to be accepting and non-judgmental?

I talked to my mom about my feelings about this issue, and she told me that when she was a kid, people WERE ashamed of needing help. People who really desperately needed help would turn it down, because they didn't want to be seen accepting "charity". I told my mom that's stupid. That's prideful and does nobody any good. It certainly doesn't seem to fit in with Christian morals. She agreed, but said that's just the way it was. There was a huge stigma attached to needing / accepting help. She said that these days, people are a lot more accepting of it. Most people realize this is hard times, and just about everybody needs help of some kind, and most people these days simply don't care whether others need help or not. But my father-in-law is probably still stuck in that older mentality.

So, if YOU were on food stamps, is that something you would be ashamed to tell people? If so, why? What do you think it says about you that you need government help to buy food? What do you think other people are thinking about you when they find out?

I'll tell you what I think, although I sort of already have. I'm not at all ashamed for people to know I'm on food stamps, because I don't think anybody really cares. If they do care, I think they are being petty and nosy and judgmental and they need to get over it and live their own lives. I am not ashamed, and I refuse to be made to feel that way.