The known sounds pretty good! Don't fear the unknown and pick what is best overall! Best of luck!

-CK

It is scary to face the unknown, but you really have listed so many 'pro's' here that I can see why it would be very hard to say 'no'. Moving farther from your mom will be hard at first, you can always call each other, but I know its not the same. It will take some adjusting to at first. WHen you do see your mom however, those moments will be very meaningful to you! You sound like you know what would be the best choice for you even if it is hard. Perhpas you can work out a travel arrangment with her- bus, car, train...see if she can possibly come to you some weekends...as well as you going to see her.

Warmly,
Kellie Montgomery< LMFT

If you would like additional support, you can reach me at the following link
http://online-counseling.supportgroups.com/index.php?_o=Bio&_m=bio&model...

It's gotten even better! His mom's boyfriend knows how to build houses, and he said if we buy the cheapest, run down modular or mobile home we can find, he will help us gut it out, and rebuild it to our specifications. So basically, all we have to do is find one big enough, and put the walls and rooms wherever we want them. I'm 90% sure this is going to happen.

Well, I've made up my mind. The thing that really did it was when we asked his son what he would think of moving back to where his "Nana" lives. My fiance and his son lived with her before they moved here, to live with his father, which was when he met me. Here's how the conversation went:
Me: Rusty, would you want to move back to Nana's house?
Rusty, looking very excited: I'll go pack my stuff!
Me: Not right now! I'm just asking if you would want to.
Rusty: Yes, I want to leave here.
Me: Aww, that breaks my heart. (because "here" is home to me.)
Rusty, suddenly looking worried: You would come with us?
Me: Yes, of course! I wouldn't let you leave me.
Rusty, looking relieved: I will never leave you, Kiki.
Me: But you do understand that Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't come? And Nina and Papa Rick wouldn't come? And aunt courtney and Elijah wouldn't come?
Rusty: Yes. I go with you and my father.
Me: But why do you want to leave here?
Rusty: Because! I go live with my Nana! Can we go tomorrow?
Me: Not until school gets out for the summer.
Rusty, turning to his dad: I love that woman.

Too cute! Well, after seeing how excited that made him, and already knowing all the "pro's" of the move, I can't keep clinging to my own fears. I know that whatever happens, as long as I'm with Russ and Rusty, I will be ok.

I am glad to hear you are more comfortable with confirming your decision. I think you have made the right choice. You are becoming part of a ready made family. You have to put what is best for that family first. Another thing, I have helped raise six step-children. I have seen how my family treats my kids compared to my brother's and sister's kids. It is very difficult for the rest of my family to treat those children as if they are my own. I think the decision you made will work best for everyone involved. I hope your mom will understand and only want the best for you. You are only a phone call away if she needs you. And if your mom really needs you for longer than a weekend, I am sure arrangements can be made for you to be where you need to be; with your mom :)))